I Baptize You My Sister...

Kimberly is ready! She began meeting regularly with me about a month ago, talking about her salvation experience and her desire to be baptized before she leaves prison. I believe God has been working in her—leading, drawing, directing her to this very day. On Easter Sunday evening, it will be my honor to share that sacred experience of baptism with her.

It will sound strange to my evangelical friends that this is our first baptism at Swannanoa Correctional Center for Women. The reasons are many. First, a great number of women who come to us grew up in church, mostly Baptist, and have already been baptized. I think most people on the “outside” assume people in prison are “bad” and could not possibly have been Christian. Many would be surprised, as I was, to learn that our population is made up of people from all walks of life. In fact, one of my most unexpected conversations, just recently, was with a woman who was both a devoted Christian and a middle school teacher before her addiction completely took over her life.

Many of the women who were not baptized prior to their incarceration, came to realize their need for God while they were in jail, awaiting conviction and sentencing, or while they were in maximum or medium security. “The Big House” in Raleigh is a horrendous experience for most of them. It is a real wake-up call. Those who transfer to medium security find themselves alone in a cell with a lot of time to contemplate their fate and realize their need for God. Through the ministry of those chaplains and community volunteers, they begin their Christian walk and are baptized.

Other women have begun their Christian journey, but they are seeking a more traditional baptism in a church on the outside. It is our pleasure to work with these women to connect with communities of faith and pastors on the outside. By participating in the Community Volunteer pass program, they are able to go through discipleship classes (varying by denomination). They are loved and nurtured by local congregations. I had the joy of witnessing Terry’s baptism last year at the Disciples of Christ church. She continues to blossom in her new-found faith in these last three years of prison.

Some women have shorter sentences and don’t go through medium security, but come straight to us from Raleigh. More and more of the younger women who find their way to the chaplains’ office are saying, “I never went to church. I don’t know anything about the Bible. I try to read it, but it doesn’t make any sense. I believe in God. I need God in my life so I don’t continue down this same path.” Some of them get into the drug treatment program which is based on the 12 Steps, and they hit a brick wall when they have to sort through this whole higher-power thing. The counselors often refer them to the chaplains. They are the most fun! True seekers! Sometimes claiming to be atheist or agnostic, they have hit rock bottom, and they realize there has to be something more, but their experience with “Christians” is often littered with painful memories. The best we can do for them is to share God’s love, to be that open vessel through which God pours God’s unconditional love into their lives. They often are released before they are ready to make a commitment, but the seed has been planted, and we pray someone out there will water it.

The most obvious obstacle to baptism at our unit is the lack of a baptismal pool. The majority of the women who come to talk about baptism want to go all the way under. They like the tradition and the symbolism of being “buried with Christ” and being “raised to walk in newness of life.” I do, too! However, this year, during Lent, I led a study of baptism, and as we talked about the Didache (essentially a manual for how to do church from somewhere around the turn of the second century), I was reminded of the fact that in church history deep water (“living water”) was not always available, and in those cases the minister used what water was available.

So on Easter Sunday evening I will take a basin of water and a seashell, and I will pour water over Kimberly’s head three times, baptizing her my sister in the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We will do this in front of the women who have been her community of faith on the inside. Women who have nurtured her and taught her what they have come to learn about Jesus the Christ, God’s anointed one who came to be God among us; who lived and loved and taught and healed and chastised the religious community; who was betrayed and beaten and crucified; who died but was then raised to walk in newness of life; who calls us to be God’s anointed, spreading this Good News: we are not alone.

Being Peace

Have you ever seen the painting of the mother bird covering her fledglings in the middle of the raging storm? That picture has been at the forefront of my mind this week as I’ve sought to be peace in the midst of chaos.

It was moving week again! When we first came to the Swannanoa facility in June of 2008, 96 women were moved into Sloop dorm which had been cleaned and painted, but was still in need of some major renovations. Soon the same temporary fix-up was completed in Gilliatt and 96 more women joined us. The first major renovation was recently completed, and this week the women vacated Sloop, with its drafty windows and insufficient electrical outlets for Greenwood.

Moving 80-something women is no small feat! One would think it would be simple when those women’s possessions must fit into three small garbage bags. However, in addition to moving those three bags, they also had to take their bunks apart and move them, the mattresses and bedding, and their lockers. Fortunately, these two dorms are only a few yards apart.

Sounds simple and fairly easy to coordinate. However, when you add 80 incarcerated personalities and who knows how many staff into the mix, you have a recipe for a major explosion. It hasn’t happened, though. I’ve seen a few tiffs, some ruffled feathers, and some rather traumatized-looking faces, but no one totally lost it. I did seem to attract complaints every time I walked through. I would stop and listen, sometimes sympathizing and sometimes chastising, but always trying to remember to pass the peace.

So the picture of that bird in the middle of that storm has been my prayer: help me be peace.

Finding a Sense of Purpose...in Prison

I continue to be amazed at the numbers of women who find a sense of purpose in prison ... a totally new concept for them. The story often begins something like this:

"Chaplain, I should have been dead a long time ago."

"So why do you think you're still here?"

"I think God has a purpose for me."

"What do you think it might be."

"I wish I knew."

After multiple conversations, they sometimes discover wonderful answers. Answers that warm the chaplain's heart:

"I just enrolled in a correspondence course to become a certified Substance Abuse Counselor. I want to help people."

Between those two points, not knowing their purpose and speaking their purpose, can lie such mountainous terrain. Despair beckons, "Follow me, for you have done the unforgivable. You are worthless, for you have lost your children. You are using up valuable oxygen." God whispers, "You are my good creation. I love you, no matter what. Just trust me, and I will direct your path." 

Exercising their will on that up-and-down journey, women are able to grow strong in faith. The most successful women discover a sense of balance between faith in God and working the 12-step program. They realize recovery is one day at a time for the rest of their lives. They reach step 12, and they are able to assist others along the journey, but they also realize an every-day need for steps one through 11.

This chaplain's greatest joy, though, is when a woman realizes she doesn't have to wait until she walks out the gate to have a purpose. She is worth something in this very moment. She can begin living a positive life, full of purpose, right now. That is a priceless treasure!

AA Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.